Wings and boudoir. What comes to mind when you think of wings….and boudoir? If you had asked me two years ago I would have said something like “oh those gorgeous fairy wings that are strapped to the backs of the Vicky Secret Angels that float down the runway!” You all know the kind I’m talking about, they are etherial and dainty and not worth a damn in regards to actually flying. Ya, those. The equivalent of a penguin wing. Cute, pretty but completely useless for actually getting off the ground. Today, we are going to chat about wings….but I don’t want to talk about the wings that keep a woman helplessly tied down, I want to talk about the wings that actually help women fly.
When I started this boudoir journey in November of 2017 I had no idea what I was doing. Let’s be honest, who decides to jump into crock infested water with no boat and no paddle? I was a completely green boudoir photographer who didn’t know the first thing about posing, lighting, what makes a woman feel good or where to start. What I DID know was that I was yearning to leave an industry that played into the stereotypical bullshit of what makes a woman pretty. Thin face, flat tummy, big boobs, fake and photoshopped. I would leave a wedding I just shot and ache for the mother of the bride who spent the entire day bashing her appearance. I wanted to hug her and say “sis, your baby girl is getting married today. Put that worry and weight down for a minute and just enjoy the day.” Instead I would get in my truck and hurt. Women wanted me to transform them into something they were not and I just knew something had to change…..so I jumped into that crock infested canyon with faith and hope.
Growing up, women are not taught to jump, let alone fly. We are taught to make smart, calculated decisions. Go to school, get good grades, sneak under the radar, don’t be too big, too messy, too aggressive and the whole time remember to be pretty. Smile so people don’t think you are cold, but don’t smile too big because they may assume something. Fit into the pretty box that society built for you, but for goodness sakes don’t customize that box. Our wings were clipped the day we were born and it has hindered our ability to trust those wings when it comes time to actually fly. It has kept us below that shroud of what society expects and has created a toxic stink that says women will never be good enough just they way they are. I’m here to say fuck that noise. Your wings may be clipped sis, but they aren’t broken. We have wings the size of that dragon on Game of Thrones (nope I don’t watch the show, but those wings looked enormous). Which means we have been told a lie our entire lives. Not only can you jump, but babe we can FLY! Our wings may be clipped but do you really think a dragon that goes around burning cities to the ground is going to notice a little chip in her wing? Nope, she sure as shit isn’t, so channel that inner dragon and spread them wings. It’s time.
Why does this matter to me right now? Here is why. In the last two years I have jumped several times with no regard for the hard landing. I spread my clipped wings on hope and faith that they were going to catch me and guess what…..they did. I have learned to pursue my passion in such a big way that I will absolutely move heaven and earth to help women stretch their big giant dragon wings out and fly. If that means turning away from traditional photography to pursue body positive boudoir, then so be it. If that means presenting women with authentic images in a world that is fake and photoshopped, then so be it. If that means moving to Denver and then back in less than a 6 month period, then so be it. I continue to spread my wings and jump, learning on the way down that I can do anything. Someone has to show the women of our generation just how powerful their wings are so I will make this choice 10 times out of 10 with zero regret. If I can jump and make it work, then so can you…I promise.
If this thought is scary to you, then good. Jumping from anything without the promise of a safety net will make anyones butt clench, but what is your alternative? Stay in a life that is not meant for you? Hide your body so people can’t judge you? Cover up to protect people’s emotions? Keep quiet so no one can judge your opinion? What does that leave you with? Nothing but a sad reality, covered in the slim that society continues to throw our way to keep our wings wet. You are a dragon sis and it’s time for you to start exploring all the tall buildings and mountains and obstacles that you can throw your beautiful self off of just to watch your wings catch you. I jumped into the scary crock infested waters and didn’t get eaten because my wings were there to support me, clipped and all. Whatever your scary canyon is, jump. If that’s sitting for a boudoir session for the first time, asking for a promotion, speaking up rather than staying quite or pursuing another huge dream, just do it!! I am here to soar right along with you and we both know how scary a pissed off woman with wet wings and a chip on her shoulder is. Hang up those fairy wings and strap on your big nasty dragon wings. It’s our time ladies, so let’s spread our wings and conquer the world.
Embrace all bodies, especially the one you are in.