What I learned in 2019
As 2019 wraps up it’s that time when everyone starts talking about their accomplishments and New Years resolutions. For a lot of people this is a time of great comparison, guilt and an overwhelming feeling of self doubt. As a society we are encouraged to do a complete 180 in the new year and frankly, the “new year - new you” concept is tired and dated. So this year I am going to do things a little different.
There will be no year in review blog, because let’s be honest, the fact that I survived is an accomplishment in itself. 2019 was a humbling year that taught me a whole lot about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. I realized that I was not feeding my soul and I needed to change my mentality for the better. Over the year I made some small changes that had a HUGE impact in my outlook. I pass these on to you in the hopes that they create a small ripple in your 2020 and open your eyes to a world which we are not often exposed to.
1.) Look at yourself in the mirror: Yep, I said it. In 2020 I want you to get out of the shower and stand butt naked in front of a mirror and look at your beautiful self. Take a deep long look at your gorgeous curves, how the skin stretches over your broad hips and how your heavy breasts sit a little lower than you remember. Feel the skin on your thighs and arms and soak up the feeling of being seen. As women we are taught that our bodies are never going to be good enough by a society that profits from our disdain. Break the cycle sis. It’s time. If you have parts and pieces that are hard to look at, then focus your energy and attention EVERY SINGLE DAY on those pieces of your body. Get so comfortable seeing your naked self that you learn to tolerate how it looks and slowly it will open the door to acceptance and then self love. It won't happen over night. Hell it may take a few weeks to even get up the courage to look, but promise me that you will try. Change your mindset and give yourself the gift of being seen.
2.) Allow your body to move: When I say move, I don’t mean workout or hit the gym. I mean gift yourself the joy of allowing your body to take up space and freely move as it wishes. This means it’s time to trash all the body suits, corsets, shape wear and undergarments that squish your bodies and make them smaller. Be so radically unapologetic about taking up space that you accept your wiggly, giggly body just as it is. Wear clothes that make you happy and stop allowing the opinions of others hinder your ability to feel fucking great in your skin. Shape wear was created so other people can feel more comfortable around large bodies so throw that archaic mentality out with those old Spanx. Your body deserves to move just as much as the person next to you…..take up space and gift yourself this freedom!
3.) Cultivate your feed: This idea has been talked about at great length within the fat liberation movement and has been a big topic in the body positive community lately so I am just going to echo it. If you are trying to change your mindset in 2020, you need to immediately change what you are scrolling by on a day to day basis. If you want to change the way you see the world, use that unfollow button and get rid of any accounts that trigger you…..be ruthless. Facebook and Instagram are super powerful tools that we spend a lot of time on and if you are inundated with the wrong message, your mindset will never ever change. For me this means unfollowing any and all weight loss supplements, diet programs or workout accounts. Even if they are someone I love and respect, if it triggers me in any way they get unfollowed or muted…..period. Fill your feed with large bodies, disabled bodies, bodies of different genders and orientations. Fill it with all the things that may make you a little uncomfortable or squiggly because in that discomfort is where you grow. The more you can expose yourself to diversity, the more inclusive your mentality becomes…..in all facets of your life. Gift yourself this radical idea of acceptance in the new year.
4.) Set boundaries: Wooowwweeeee this may be the hardest of the bunch and something I am still learning how to do. Boundaries can be put in place in literally any aspect of your life. At work, at school, with family members and even with your healthcare providers. YOU and only you know what is best or healthiest for you in any given moment. If that means letting a coworker know that they have crossed a line…do it. If it means having a hard talk with your family…do it! If it means letting your doctor know you don’t want to be weighed, then just freaking do it!! When you stop letting people take advantage of you, your self worth immediately starts to increase. As hard as this may seem, it gets easier with each conversation you have. Give yourself the gift of boundaries and watch as your self love and respect skyrocket.
5.) Get in the picture: I have been harping on this since I started my business 4 years ago. From someone who lost a parent far to early in life, you never ever know when your last day may be. If you wait to get in the image until you’re comfortable, you are missing out on opportunities that may never present themselves again. I am a big believer that an image is an heirloom you are leaving behind for the people who love you most. It is a brief moment in time encapsulated in the click of a button and if you are never present in those moments, how is your story ever going to live on? Be present and give the gift of pictures to yourself and the people in your life that you love. This one is not negotiable.
6.) Ditch your scale: Like right now, take the batteries out, throw it out the window or back over it with your car. I don’t really care what you do with it, but stop weighing yourself. That number is just that. A FUCKING NUMBER. I won’t go into this any farther because I spent too many years telling myself how worthy or unworthy I was based on that number. When I stopped weighing my body I gave myself the gift of freedom and liberation knowing my worth and value had nothing to do with a number.
7.) Find something that sets your soul on fire: 2019 was an incredibly trying year for me for a lot of reasons and I was having a hard time finding joy in anything I was doing. Work was stagnant, I had no ambition to leave the couch and everything felt very vanilla. I don’t think I am alone in this camp and I think it is something that we don’t talk enough about as a society. Every single day people get up, go through their routine, work their butt off and repeat the process. What I learned this year is that overworking and being exhausted all the time is not a badge of honor and brings no fire to your life. Here is where I am going to encourage you to find something that lights up your world. If that is drawing, then go buy supplies. If it is dancing, join an dance studio and shake your cute butt. If it’s listening to music or throwing pottery or reading…..JUST DO IT!!! Create space and time in your day or week to fill your cup instead of just slugging through life. You are worthy of that time alone and if no one has told you that, then here it is. I am giving you the permission to set your world on fire with something. It will be the best gift you give yourself all year.
8.) Take a walk on the self love path: This is the last little nugget I am going to drop today. As I stumbled through 2019 I had so many highs and lows about my body. I have been battling some debilitating health issues that seem to have no resolution and throughout this process my body has changed drastically. What I learned through this process is that self love is much more of a journey than a destination. Just like a path in the woods there are hills, valleys and plateaus. Sometimes loving yourself is like running down a hill and sometimes even tolerating your body is like dragging 300 pounds up an incline. It’s messy and scary and occasionally lonely but more than anything else, it’s rewarding. This path is always going change but if you are willing to gift yourself the walk, I promise you will look back on all the miles you have gone and smile. The woman who is standing here now is so much stronger and more resilient because of those hills and valleys. Celebrate your small accomplishments and know that the journey is so damn worth it.
Happy New Years my sweet friends. May 2020 bring you so much joy and may these small little changes open your eyes to a new world of self love and opportunities. You so deserve all the greatness this world has to offer and it’s time to start manifesting this into a reality. May these next months be filled with joy, self love and things that set your soul on fire!
Cheers,
Katelyn